If ‘Living the Dream’ is the way most people talk about it, I want to wake up from this nightmare

Why I choose to live each day like it’s my fifth birthday

Is it just me or does it seem like every time someone says they are ‘living the dream’ there is a subtle hint of extreme sarcasm? No, seriously, how many times have you asked someone how they’re going at work and there’s this big rush of air from their mouths (which makes their lips do that funny thing where they flap in the wind), they roll their eyes 360 degrees, and they let out a big “HA”. No, not a “ha-ha”, that would indicate enjoyment or humor. Just a single “HA”, which in my experience tends to mean that what they are trying to insinuate is an extreme lack of enjoyment, humor or “ha-ha” experience.

I’ve seen this all too often during my relatively short tenure in the working world thus far. There seems to be so many people that embody this skewed understanding of ‘living the dream’ that it actually kind of scares me.

If ‘living the dream’ is the way most people talk about it, then I want to wake up from this nightmare.

When I have dreams, which I seem to a lot because I have such an eccentric and often hyper-stimulated imagination, they’re fun, they’re cool — I actually want to live them every day. Yet, it seems to me that most people’s ‘dreams’ are filled with sadness, exhaustion and unfulfillment. It’s really quite sad and upsetting, to think that there are so many people out there experiencing this kind of, well, bleak existence — where dreams are no longer a space of creativity, stimulation and excitement but a prison of repetitive suffering.

I’m not going to lie, this observation of mine has been harrowing my thoughts over the last few years. I ask myself constantly, “is this really what I have to look forward to in the future?”. I’ve pictured myself in 20, 30, 40 years from now speaking to someone of similar age to me. They’re all happy, chirpy and ready to take on the world but me, well, I’m ‘living the dream’. Unhappy, depressed, defeated. My actions and overwhelming display of happiness (not) will likely infect their mind, they will start to question this phenomenon of ‘the dream’ and they too will fall into a systematic cycle of discovering that, hey, this dream — yeah, it’s a nightmare.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on my observations so far. Give me a “mmhmm” (this involves puckering your lips, closing your eyes and snapping your fingers in agreeance like they do at a slam poetry night) if you’ve experienced this too. Yeah, not all that uncommon is it? Now, follow up question, how many of you actually think this is something that seems enjoyable and viably manageable and healthy over the entirety of your working life? Ah-ha! I can’t see any hands go up so I must be right. Albeit I can’t actually see your hands (spoiler alert) but nonetheless, my point has been proven.

So, with these observations of mine (and likely yours) in mind the perennial question remains — how to we combat this seemingly inevitable spiral into the common understanding of ‘living the dream’ and actually forge ourselves a path towards happiness, fulfillment and prosperity? Great question! This is something I have certainly tackled with for a while. Now, a lot of self-help books out there when referring to this phenomenon (yeah, I’m calling it that because it makes me seem extremely analytical and intelligent) may suggest a few things along the lines of: start your dream business, practice self-care every morning through breathing exercises or sign up to a $2,000 course that is guaranteed to change your life. Whilst these are all so simple, straightforward and clearly obvious decisions to make to ensure a happy and fulfilled life, I have crafted my own approach, something that has worked for me over the last 3–4 years and something I will continue to implement for, probably, the rest of my life.

My philosophy is this: Aspire to live each and every day like it’s your fifth birthday.

You’re probably thinking, “what the actual fruitcake does that mean”? I get it, it’s a weird concept, kind of strange, but it’s my mantra, my credo, my way of life — and you know what, I think it actually works. So, lets dive into this idea so I can begin to explain what I actually mean.

Alright, so, I want you to cast your mind back to when you were around five years old. No, it doesn’t have to be specifically five years old (five is just my favorite number and happened to be a really good year for me, hence why I have selected five as my number of choice), just an age where life was simple, enjoyable, fascinating and overall, just a great time. Every day was exciting, the world was exciting. You did what made you happy, you always found ways to make yourself and others smile, and this concept of ‘unfulfillment’ and ‘dissatisfaction’ probably wasn’t something you were familiar with. This is where we connect the dots. If this adult ‘working life’ is seemingly filled with unhappiness and nightmarish experiences then why not just make each day more exciting by tapping into those five-year-old emotions and recreating those experiences and feelings for a contemporary time?

I feel as though one of reasons a lot of people become increasingly cynical (for lack of a better word) as they grow older is because they begin to lose their sense of self. This idea of ‘conformity’ to modern society and the working environment seems to have the power to destroy creativity, suppress enjoyment and just make people really not want to be in their current position. It’s like one’s individuality is a roaring hot flame and this universal concept of ‘being a certain way at a certain age’ is a big ol’ fire extinguisher. The longer that trigger is compressed the smaller the fire become until…*hiss*…the flame is gone.

Now, I don’t know about you but I never want my flame to go out. Life is honestly just too damn short to be blasted with a heavy dose of life-long fire retardant…and that’s why I live everyday like it’s my fifth birthday.

So, what does this look like? Well, it’s simple really. I’ve just taken this idea/concept of what I’m ‘supposed’ to be and thrown it out the window of a 55-storey building only to watch it gracefully plummet to its demise and have continued to shamelessly embrace who I am. To provide some context; I’m a 23-year-old ‘young professional’, I’ve completed five years at university, landed a professional services role and run my own business. Notice how already you’re starting to paint a picture in your mind of how I’m ‘supposed’ to be — this is the danger, you see. So, what am I actually like? Well, for starters I’m obsessed with hiking and the outdoors, I collect little hand-crafted Japanese puzzles, I love everything Avatar: The Last Airbender/Power Rangers/Yu-Gi-Oh, I wave and speak to everyone I pass on beach walks, I love sitting down and doing the 9-letter word puzzle with friends for fun and I really want a skateboard for my 24th birthday. I make hiking survival bracelets because I think their awesome, I have recently re-started playing Pokémon with my brother and there’s nothing more exciting to me than sitting down for a day reading stock market books and learning how to program.

Well, what’s the point here? The point is that I make it a non-negotiable to live everyday doing the things I love, unapologetically. I don’t care what others think, or if people think I’m weird or if my parents think I need to ‘grow-up’ because honestly, it’s these things that make me happy and congruent with happiness, so it has been demonstrated to me, is success. Ever since embracing ‘me’, tapping into that five-year-old excitement and living my dreams over the past 3–4 years I have seen my idea of ‘success’ continue to unfold before my eyes. I have been lucky enough to a part of some incredible experiences, meet some incredible people and achieve things I thought I could have only imagined…all because I started living life to the beat of my own drum and not to the pre-determined tune played by others around me.

This is the part of the article where you, my friend, begin to reflect on your own personal journey thus far. What parts of your life/personality/very composition of your soul have you foregone to conform, be what society wants you to be or resulted to unhappiness on the proviso of ‘fitting in’ and obtaining success? Has it been worth it? Are you truly happy? Are you *cough cough* ‘living the dream’ (I love it when movies/article reference the title like this, ahh, so cool, — go me)? If you’re finding yourself reflecting on some negative experiences or you are realizing that maybe there are some things lacking in your current life then this is your permission to make that change! Live each day doing the things you love — no compromise. Buy that LEGO set, play that video game, wave and smile at people when you pass them and do all the things you love to do. I think, wait — scratch that — I KNOW you will benefit from this.

Just like dreams, life is short lived. You don’t want to get to retirement-age only to discover that your entire life has been a nightmare in retrospect. The time to start is now! Make the pledge to live unapologetically, do the things you love and just be you — no compromise. I know I do and boy oh boy do I look forward to every day!

Anyway, enough rambling, time to start living! I’ll see you on the flip side you cool, unique, awesome, incredible person.